Asking Rather Than Telling

Sometimes we see emails or text messages that read, “Please [do X].” It’s almost always a mistake to use this approach – we’re demanding someone do something rather than asking them to. Doing this is most problematic between peers, colleagues of equal rank.

Adding please to your demand isn’t more polite or professional. It’s a problem and it doesn’t help get anything done.

Here’s a way to make the exchange reasonable and more likely to accomplish something – ask rather than tell. Try this, “Could you [do X]?” You’ll find the conversation goes better.